Victory

The past month or so has seemed to have a triumphant theme, maybe hopeful should also be thrown in there. First let me say there has been some doubt on my mind as to whether or not I want children. Yes, crazy. And I think it comes down to being tired of taking care of other people's kids. Don't get me wrong. I still love my 'kiddos.' The girls in Memphis, Mark, Anya... I truly love and adore each one. But I'm just playing pretend. And taking care of other people's kids comes with some challenges. I simply have to pretty much work with what I'm given. I'm trying to skirt around an issue here. Let me just say, I was... I don't know, but I had two good days of tears and doubt as to whether or not I really wanted kids. Maybe its time for me to get and pursue a new dream.

But surrounding this period of questioning, I saw great victorious. One friend had a baby after IVF and years of trying and going through fertility treatments. To see her holding her baby was truly an overwhelming feeling. Like a lot of things, you can't truly understand until you have a taste. I only have a taste of what they've gone through, but its definitely enough to understand what a true, honest miracle they were holding in their hands.

Then today, I went to my friends Megan and Scott's baby shower. They adopted (in the process of) Scott's niece and great nephew. They were there for each of the births and began bonding at birth. Danni is their baby girl who is now almost five weeks. Parker is their baby boy who is now four days. Yes, they adopted two babies born one month apart. Megan and Scott went through years of hell. Megan experienced incredible physical and emotional pain after miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy only to hear, its not going to happen for you. But to see them today with their two, perfect, healthy, beautiful babies was just incredible. They may not have carried those babies, but they were parents and you could see it in their eyes, in the way they held them, in the way they talked. After they were told there was no hope, their family doubled.

Nathan and I are grateful not to have experienced anything but waiting. I mean, we are experiencing the emotions, but we have not had to endure a miscarriage or traumatic procedures, and we are just now heading down the road of fertility treatment. Seeing my dear friends meet their children has been magical, hopeful, and truly victorious.