The Lost Post (not the show)

I wrote this while in Alabama... but apparently it didn't get posted. So here it it...

This may turn into another lengthy post. I just cannot say what a wonderful trip this has been for me. We started out trip in BG with our friends and my God parents Deb and Eric, and celebrated Nathan and Eric's birthday on the fourth. Then we headed on to Jacksonville, Florida to see my Grandpa who moved there from PA. Last time I saw Grandpa before he moved was heartbreaking. He was having medication issues and was in not in a good state of mind. I really thought that'd be the last time I'd see him. This weekend, he did so well. He was his quick, silly, sarcastic self. He could recall all kinds of things about his life in PA, his family, his life in Florida. He was Grandpa. Physically he is having some issues, but I am so grateful had the opportunity to see him under better conditions. And it was nice to catch up with my step cousins. Then we headed to Alabama to see my one and only first cousin and my only three second cousins. I had seen Trina a few years back when my Grandma passed away, but I hadn't seen my cousins Robb, Cameron, and Gavin in ten years. They were little boys last time I saw them. Robb is now 20, Cameron is 17, and Gavin is 15. And they are big (very tall!) handsome guys now. Its just so hard to believe. And honestly, they still had the same personalities that I remembered. The greatest thing having such a small family is seeing the similiarities between my family and each of them. Example. Trina, Cameron, and I are all very indecisive... like in making life decision indecisive. But at the same time, its who we are. And Gavin is a lot like Austin with the music. I mean just two peas in a pod.

Through this trip, I've done alot of reflection. I'll probably blog about one aspect when I get back to Michigan... but another thing I really found was how desperately I felt at home in the South. I just feels right. Not because the weather was beautiful... but an inner peace, a comfort. I don't want another ten years to pass before I see my cousins again. I don't want to have to drive 9 hours just to see my parents... or Nathan's parents in WV (I'm praying one of these days they'll be ready to pack up and join my parents in BG!!!) Family is such a miraculous thing. In the argument of nurture vs. nature... I think they both hold their own.

OK. I wasn't going to go here but I am. Another thing I really thought about on this trip was about the hardships we each face. I do so much feeling sorry for myself. But everyone has or will face loss or sadness or difficult situations. I was reminded of this as my Grandpa told about his first wife and the two still born babies they had before their daughter was born... Grandpa began to tear up as he talked about the children they lost. And the fact that he not only lost his first wife, but he lost his second wife (my Grandma.) I can't imagine have to see two spouses come and go. While we were in Alabama we went to Fort Benning where we visited the grave of my Uncle Dennis, my mom's brother. Uncle Dennis was missed by parents who lost their son, a sister who lost her brother, a 4 month old baby girl who lost her father, and a wife who lost her husband. To lose someone is much more painful than never having... if that makes sense.